kiss and tell

2009-12-31T00:11:00.004+08:00

Hi okay so I'm not blogging here any longer, I haven't, for quite some time.

I still cant forget what happened four years ago. Or rather, five.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you.

European men lost in female toilets

2009-09-09T18:23:00.000+08:00

Slacking in Starbucks even though I'm really supposed to be doing seqs.
I'm really starting to miss having a social life cause lately it's pretty much been all,Studying in Starbucks the whole day.

I miss so many people,Trevor I haven't seen you in forever.
Brandon is having his annoying prelims now
Anna and angie we need a Starbucks date soon
TS MDS day

Tmr am meeting Man Kit to study ah where else but OF SB.
Thinking of the farewell dinner too,a tad dificult to coordinate and get everyone on the same day for dinner plus he's off to London on the 26th,so yes.

Saturday is play day though I can barely wait!
Will pop by for service in the evening to give everyone hugs and squeal about how much I miss them - Anna I WANT MY COMB BACK HAHAHA.

Oops. Got to go,

Khruschev beckons.

Dear mom.

2009-09-06T15:18:00.001+08:00

A mother passing by her daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Mom.” With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I’ve been finding real passion with John and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Mom, I’m pregnant and John said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too. John taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

I hate that I love you

2009-08-17T19:57:00.000+08:00

Hi guys sorry have not been updating for a really long time but uhm really nothing much has happened basically it's still me in Starbucks studying-same old,same old. Today I kind of feel like shit and am blogging in Starbucks so I will not be doing any paragraphing since i'm too damn lazy. B I know that when you tried to figure out whether I was okay and what was going on I pushed you away. I know you're prolly mad at me right now and fed up with everything and you don't care anymore. I think this is the last straw I think we're finally not friends anymore. It breaks me and I swear I feel like shit just thinking of losing you because part of me still loves you yet part of me can't stand you for making me your backup plan and not your choice. I tried to be okay with being second all the time but this is it I'm done with being second because just for once,can't I be your priority? I can't ever be your priority because she is yours. You can't have the best of both worlds- this is where you choose. And I know that you will choose her over me, but just so you know. If things don't work out with her,don't come running back to me.

You make me sick

2009-06-13T18:24:00.002+08:00

I haven't slept at all in days

It's been so long since we've talked

And i have been here many times
I haven't slept at all in days
I just don't know what i'm doing wrong
It's been so long since we've talked

And I have been here many times

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong
What can i do to make you love me

What can i do to make you care
What can I do to make you love me
What can i say to make you feel this
What can I do to make you care
What can i do to get you there
What can I say to make you feel this

What can I do to get you there

There's only so much i can take
There's only so much I can take
And i just got to let go
And I just got to let go
And who knows i might feel better, yeah
And who knows I might feel better, yeah
If i don't try and i don't hope
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can i do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can i do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can i say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
What can i do to get you there

No more waiting, no more, aching

No more fighting, no more, trying...
No more waiting, no more, aching

No more fighting, no more, trying...
Maybe there's nothing more to say

And in a funny way I'm calm

Because the power is not mine
Maybe there's nothing more to say
I'm just going to let it fly...
And in a funny way i'm calm

Because the power is not mine
What can I do to make you love me
I'm just going to let it fly...
What can I do to make you care

I was in the cab when I heard this song on the radio and thought, HAHA this song truly reflects the situation now.
This song was my favorite song in like 2006.

Come with me, stay the night
You say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do you expect me to say
(You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand, and you say you've changed
But boy you know your beggin' don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game
(You know it's just too little too late)
So let me on down
Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone

And you know
It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
(You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
(You know it's just too little too late)

I was young and in love
I gave you everything but it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate
(You know it's just too little too late)
Go find someone else
In lettin you go, I'm lovin myself
You gotta problem
But don't come askin me for help

No more projects lets go for the well adjusted

2009-06-10T20:41:00.002+08:00

When I need you you're either drunk and completely limp or God knows where in Singapore.
You're everywhere except by my side.

When I'm sobbing on the roadside at three in the morning you're never there to take me home.
You said you would.

I am Alice in wonderland.

Watch

Me

Fall.

Pictures of you,Pictures of me

2009-06-08T11:03:00.002+08:00

HAHA Amanda's getting a tattoo on her left butt cheek.

Updating while in HK now, okay so there are a couple of things I'm looking forward to this june.

Study dates w Angie and Anna at One Fullerton
Rugby lessons w Trevor though we tried once it was a complete and utter failure
More study dates w Van
Picnics with Tylerrrrrrr
Hopefully MDS with ts and van
China outing which has not been planned (I'm not sure it ever will be)
Brandon days
Sleepovers at Erica's
And my photography days probably with uh myself
Need to hurry find a gift for Kelly

But yes june will mostly be me in a big chair in Starbucks doing physics and making Mr Chow proud.

Oh yes and its time to head to Borders soon to gratify my constant need for new books.

A secret affair

2009-05-25T15:22:00.003+08:00

Its been four years since you messed up my life and not a day goes by that I dont think of you and how if given a chance I'd do it differently and get my life in order.

Just thinking about you makes me sick in the gut.
I go through it every single day silently wishing you were still here with me, going through all of it with me.

I cant forgive myself because it is too big a mistake to ever forgive.

I cant help but imagine what life would be like if I didnt make such big mistakes years ago that still haunts me to this day.

I hate you and then I love you.

Whoever reads this, dont even bother asking what its all about, because honestly, you dont want to know.

And I wouldnt even tell you anyway -regardless of who you are.

MSND

2009-05-23T11:13:00.002+08:00

Prasanna said when taking the shot above, "Wait wait must capture the shoes, must get the shoes"
Best Quote Ever.

HAHAHAHAHA I look drunk in the Fusion shot w Delia. 2nd picture.

2009-05-15T23:04:00.002+08:00

Below 40= Not girlie
Above 40= Girlie
Above 55= Paris Hilton

[x] My fingernails/toenails are almost always painted.
[x] During the summer pretty much the only shoes I wear are flip flops.
[] My favorite toy as a child were barbies.
[] My favorite color is pink or purple.
[] I did Gymnastics.
[x] I love skirts/shorts
[ ] Hollister is my favorite place to shop.
[] Tight jeans are the only jeans I'll wear.
[x] I love chocolate.

TOTAL SO FAR:4

[] I straighten my hair.
[x] I have at least 8 facebook pictures.
[x] I usually go shopping once a week.
[x] I love to hang out with friends.
[x] I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace.
[ ] I've gone to a tanning salon.
[x] I've gone to the beach to tan - not to swim.
[x] I have at least 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] I watch(ed) either The OC, Laguna Beach OR Desperate Housewives.
[] I change my profile weekly.
[x] I have worn a shower cap.

TOTAL SO FAR: 12

[] I would NEVER step foot into Hot Topic.
[x] My cell phone might as well become a part of me.
[ ] I wear mascara everyday. Can’t leave the house without it.
[] I've been or am on a diet.
[x] Bathing suits are adorable.
[ ] I don't know the difference between a sheep and a goat.
[x] Big sunglasses are hot.
[x] I have gotten my nails done.
[x] I own over 10 purses.
[] Much Music is my one of my favorite channels.

TOTAL SO FAR: 17

[] I like to talk about boys.
[x] I love to have other people do my hair.
[x] I like to give and receive hugs from all my friends.
[x] I hate bugs.
[x] Carnivals are so fun!
[x] Summer is THE best season.
[x] My swimsuit has 2 pieces.
[x] I'm waiting for my knight in shining armor. He'll come someday.
[] Musicians are hot.

TOTAL SO FAR:24

[x]I'm self-conscious.
[] I cry often.
[ ] My room smells like vanilla.
[x] My dishes get washed more then once a week.
[x] I don't do sports
[] I HATE to run.
[] I squeal when I am surprised.
[x] I eat dried fruit as a snack.
[x] I love romance novels.
[x] Drew Barrymore is so cute.

TOTAL SO FAR: 30

[x] I dance a lot. Randomly.
[] I usually spend over an hour to get ready to leave my house.
[x] My hair is important.
[x] I love to get dressed up.
[x] Every part of my outfit needs to match.
[x] I talk on the phone at least once a day to my friends.
[] I'd love to have a photo shoot of myself.
[x] The price on clothes hardly matters.
[ ] I apply lip gloss 50 times a day...
[] I wish I were a model…

TOTAL SO FAR: 36

[] I wish I could meet Paris Hilton.
[] I wanted or have been something that was *hoochie* on Halloween.
[x ] R&B is the best music.
[ ] I pop my collar.
[x] Guys with Mohawks are GROSS!
[] Horses are beautiful.
[] I never pay attention in school...
[] Cats are adorable.

TOTAL SO FAR: 38

[] I write my own music.
[x] I would love to visit Hawaii.
[x] Valentine's day is so cute!
[ ] White is better than black...
[x] I wouldn't be caught dead in all black.
[x] My closet is STOCK FULL of clothes.
[x] I hate the grunge look of a beard.
[x] I love to read magazines.

TOTAL SO FAR: 44

[x] I love lip gossip.
[x] I love Celine Dion.
[ ] My baths are 2 hours long.
[] My wedding only needs a groom because it's already planned.
[ ] My friends and I are in a strict group. We mostly only hang out with each other.
[x] I like kids.
[] Diet drinks are the best.
[] I have been a vegetarian.
[] I refuse to eat at McDonald's.
TOTAL SO FAR: 47

[x] I check my Facebook everyday.
[x] I have a lot of jewelry
[] My screen name[s] has x's in them.
[] Either one of my msn names has/had <3/♥'s in them.
[ ] I would never want to be the opposite sex.
[x] I have more than 3 pillows on my bed.

GRAND TOTAL:50

SEE I'm not a Paris Hilton.

2009-05-13T11:34:00.003+08:00

Stopped uploading any pictures on blogger because its too bloody slow and besides its all on facebook.
Been awhile since I gave a proper update about where I've been, whats been happening and whats to come so yes I'll do it now.

Where I've been:

Too much to share I'm always out anyway but from what I can remember I'll update yall on the most recent outings.

Shopping with Van for new outfits for the very busy month of May where plenty of exciting things are happening :)
I found my dream dress, oh my god I almost died when I found it. Finally after scouting all the usual places like Zara, Topshop, Miss Selfridge, FCUK, Warehouse, Dorothy Perkins.

Van says it looks really good so Thank God.

Oh yes went to Zouk with Van. Got a tad drunk having dinner the night before.

Been stressed at school and am indulging in retail therapy on weekends now that my exams are over.
Need a new bag, new shoes, new top to wear with my new Zara jeans, new denim shorts and maybe a new sun dress - I know, I just bought a dress but still.

Been out studying with Brandon at the usual place, hmm what else. Oh breakfast with Trevor at Dempsey, talking on the phone with Van for ages.

Events that are coming up:

MSND Musical (Did I tell you that I really like watching musicals)
Vanessa's birthday dinner at Double Bay
Daddy's birthday brunch at Shangri la
Getting my Dad a Tiffany ring for his birthday I hope he likes it.
Figuring out what to get Van for her birthday
Sleepover at my place when the 'rents are out of town.

Oh Brandon made me listen to this song on his ipod that day and I fell in love with it. Posted the lyrics here I think my life story is in there.

I'll be there

You've felt alone since you were only seven
Your mother didn't have a clue what to do
You've cried each night until you were eleven
You prayed that God will bring your daddy back to you

It got much worse when you were in high school
From guy to guy you wondered why you never felt a thing
You wondered if you'd ever find a lover
Who'd some day get down on his knees holding that diamond ring

The summer's taking me to California
But I wont go until you know that what I say is true
When everything you've ever loved has left you
I'll be there
I'll be there for you

Your senior year you and your friends went crazy
But then you found out who your friends really were
You were betrayed by everyone who mattered
So you drank until it all became a blur

But don't forget about when I first met you
Well I can see your pain too deep to kiss away
You thought that I would be another letdown
So here I am proving to you that I am here to stay

The summer's taking me to California
But I wont go until you know that what I say is true
When everything you've ever loved has left you
I'll be there
I'll be there for you

I don't want to leave you lonely
I just want to be right there
Even if you don't believe me
I will try to make it clear

The summer's taking me to California
But I wont go until you know that what I say is true
When everything you've ever loved has left you
I'll be there
I'll be there for you

2009-05-10T21:39:00.003+08:00

Hahahaha its a deal.
If I get into trouble I'll call Brandon and he'll come bail me out.
Even if its in the middle of the night he says he'll come to get me home.
HAHAHA I was so touched okay Yay Hahaha Brandon I love you!

Sexual desires and baristas

2009-04-25T22:13:00.004+08:00

Friday night:
Jason's party was such a success. No seriously there was this hot part German part Chinese guy I almost died but I busied myself with running the party, making sure the food and drinks didn't run out and people didn't get so drunk they'd start throwing vases around. His name is David, will explain another day.

You'd think that the party would be my highlight for the week,but no.

What happened this morning takes the cake, I swear.

Saturday:
Study date with Van and Tingshan. Its been an incredibly long time since I saw Tingshan!
So I met Van at like 6.45am at Bukit Batok MRT to go to Starbucks together.
When we got there, the Starbucks branch thats facing Bras Basah not the one near the MRT station was still closed. So anyway we went in and settled on a table with good lighting and went to the counter to check out the breakfast set.
And when we walked to the counter, the barista said something that sounded like,

"Morning miss bei fu just give us two minutes and we will open the counter."

And I was like, What did he call me? But then I ignored it until,

"Alright miss bei fu we're finally open sorry to keep you waiting what would you like to have today?"
"Wow miss bei fu you're here so early studying?"

And he said miss bei fu in his questions six times, and I was still trying to figure out whether he had like some speech impediment or something it was rather puzzling.

So I told him I'd like a tall caramel macchiato and walked over to Van who was waiting at the table.
Then I whispered, What did he call me? Whats bei fu or pei fu in Chinese and she said its like admiration or something which didn't make sense.
What the hell is miss admiration la.

Anyway so I was like, "What do you mean you didn't hear him say it? Shit Van this guy is a creep, he's a creep!"
And Van said she didn't hear him call me anything at all so I just lost my rag okay seriously I got scared and irritated so I was like, "Are you serious how the hell could you not have heard it he said it six times okay SIX TIMES"

So I told her to listen up later and then Van was like, "Wait. Or did he mean miss beautiful?"

Then I started to freak out okay I was like whats this fella doing man oh my god.
It was at that moment when he popped his head out behind the counter and went, "Hi miss bei fu would you like an extra shot on the house?"

That was when I knew he was trying to do something weird.

So I accepted and said thank you to be polite.

Then Van just HAD to go to the toilet her bladder was bursting and before she left I begged her not to go I told her she couldn't just leave me here-not with this freak. And she said, No la you don't need to be scared he wont do anything there are a few people here!

LOOK WHAT HAPPENED IN THE END HAHAHAHA
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry its hilarious yet frightening.

So anyway she went to relieve herself and I was just there doing my work so I knew that I had to do something to prevent him from trying something funny.
So I got my phone out, and pretended like I was talking to Trevor on the phone when there was no one on the line. I was trying to seem occupied so he cant like come and talk to me, and at the same time hinting that I have a boyfriend already so he'll stay away from me. HAHA I don't even have a boyfriend la.

Me:Oh hi babe. Yesterday was amazing, did you talk to Jason for me? Mm how are you feeling?
(After a pause to listen to imaginary Trevor responding)
Me: Oh yes haha I heard about it! I think I'm going for dinner with Amanda and Danny, we're heading to Indochine, will you accompany me?

and it went on and on like this until suddenly The Creep came out and whispered, Hot Chocolate and placed a cup of hot chocolate on the table. I didn't even order it but still, I smiled and said thank you to be polite.
I can bloody well pay for my own drinks I don't need his uh advances.

So then Van came back and i used a pencil to write down what happened and asked if we could go to the mrt branch instead.

So when we were leaving I pretended that David was calling me and I walked out quickly trying not to make eye contact.

Guess what I found out from Van later on?

He asked her, What school are you all from?
And at least she was smart enough to go, NOT HERE.

I love the girl.

I was seriously scared you know then we were joking about getting Clarence to come down and beat the guy up with his skills HAHA
And today, I have witnessed the effectiveness of a pair of tight Zara jeans.

Gold

2009-04-17T20:17:00.002+08:00

I dont want to fall to pieces but why did I break down sobbing while walking home alone

2009-04-04T17:55:00.002+08:00

Trevor Crosby is officially the most loved guy in the whole world
Hahahaha
I'm sorry I hit your head with the pan instead of hooking it back.
Love you.

Fever- I'm so hot, I swear

2009-03-27T11:27:00.004+08:00

Temperature's not getting any lower, but I'm dancing around the house to Danity Kane's Damaged.

Quotes.

2009-03-26T10:07:00.002+08:00

I drank until I didn't see the regret in my husband's eyes.
I drank until even he could plainly see that I was a failure.
I drank until I couldn't feel anything, most of all his touch.

I think there was a part of me that knew if I drove him away, I would never have to say I'd been left behind.

Given the chance, we don't have to wait for someone to make messes of our lives.
We do a good enough job, ourselves.
We make messes of our lives, but every now and then, we manage to do something thats exactly right.
The challenge is figuring out which is which.

2009-03-18T10:59:00.002+08:00

Dont tell me you care for me because half the time you dont give a damn about my existence.

Your Body Is A Wonderland is on replay

2009-03-17T06:18:00.014+08:00

More up soon.

Is he or Is he not into you

2009-03-17T05:52:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone, I'm back from Kunming and I have nothing to say about the trip except that it was amazing. I've travelled to so many different countries and had so much fun, but this Internationalisation Trip takes the cake. Sat for awhile in TCC with the rents and Amos, filling them in on details. Am waiting for my hair to dry as I blog now.

I feel messed up in some ways, yet also happy because this trip was truly mind blowing.
Will not elaborate, just need to call Van tmr morning to tell her all thats going on and sit there for hours just analysing every minute detail until I get an answer.

Its Not Goodbye- Or Is It?

2009-03-09T11:41:00.002+08:00

We had the farewell party on Saturday and I must say, it was very well planned. Kudos to Sin ee, Nic and whoever who planned it.
I could really see the effort that they put into organizing this and I swear, I was so touched.

Saturday was filled with tears because I couldnt stop crying but it was fun like hell, nonetheless. The party kicked off at around 2pm where we met at Astons and omg, Jamie got this helium balloon for me which read, Sorry you're leaving.
Haha oh isnt that cute!
And I got this white flower that was absolutely beautiful I actually got fooled into thinking that it was real, only after while then I realised that the stem felt plasticky. HAHA

After lunch we headed to Ben & Jerry's and sat in a circle. So yvonne said that we would go one round and everyone would take turns to affirm me, after which I'd say something that I wanted to say to the cell. So basically everyone said that I brought alot of life to the cell and that they always looked forward to hearing me share about my week. Also that I was always very honest and willing to be vulnerable to share things with the cell, even though sometimes its hard.
Then I talked about how grateful I am to Yvonne for countless things I needed guidance for and how she helped me through many things that I wounldnt have went through if not for her.

Then I got this box. This box I loved every bit of it-it was my favourite part of the whole day it was like all my christmases came true- it had pictures of black heels,ranging from platforms to wedges to stilettos, and inside the box it contained letters, many of them from every cell member (with the exception of brandon) and one bottle of dettol hand sanitizer. I wanted to cry when I saw the hand sanitizer because everyone knows that I carry one with me all the time and well,because it was so me.

Then we left for service and they took turns to pray for me and Yvonne got a vision which was absolutely amazing. She saw this horse and she thinks that it means that even when times get hard and I dont think I can do it anymore God will strengthen me to become as strong as a horse, and I'll continue galloping, and galloping, and running the race.
I actually have 1 Corinthians

Then after service Sin ee asked if she could pray for me and told me that she saw this door. This door with a huge X over it, and the door leads to this room where all the things that I dont want people to know about me are chucked in it. I throw all my darkest secrets inside and lock the room up. She told me that God is inside the room, he knows all my darkest secrets and fears, and he still loves me despite of all the terrible things I've done and he's knocking. He's knocking from the inside of the room for the door to be opened because the only way of cleaning that room is to open that door.

And that was particularly amazing because its true. I have that room inside my heart.

So she prayed for me and we talked for awhile and then it was time. I got very emotional at the end about leaving I started sobbing ok, no, like you should've seen the unglam bloodshot eyes staring out at you. I hugged everyone and Nicole said she wanted an extra long hug and sarah gave me some words of advice and booked me for the first day of term to go out omg,I love her.

Then I hugged Sin ee, Crystal and Yvonne and I wanted to cry when I saw Yvonne's face- it had this wierd expression, like she didnt know what to do except to hug me. She told me to tell her how it goes in NCC and feel free to text or call her anytime if I needed someone to talk to.
I'll miss them all like mad. Sin ee's the bomb I dont know how I grew an emotional attachment to her in such a short span of time, for pete's sake.

I went home and put all the pictures I had of the cell in the box and shelved it, stepping into a new chapter of my life.

2009-02-27T21:56:00.001+08:00

Poets, Chefs, and Eternal Romance

2009-02-20T15:22:00.003+08:00

Sometimes you really piss me off. Ohmygod, what is wrong with you?
Seriously. Please stop whining. Y'know what, I am so sick of you whining all the time, and its like you just cannot let go of it. You keep touching on it, you use it to attack my personality and how awful I am, I mean, come on. Get over it.

I dont want to talk about this anymore.

Today was fun,
Brandon is singing for me, I absolutely cannot wait. :)

Went to Gap because my camisoles are old already and I wanted to get new ones so yes, girls, attire checks are coming up and I suggest you all flock over to Gap to get your camisoles cause its one of the most comfy camisoles you'll ever find.

Operation Supermodel?

2009-02-11T16:36:00.002+08:00

Have lit test tmr, oh god I really, really want to ace it.

Almost died laughing today in class, was lots of fun doing group work.
The theme was, "Is Singapore a good/bad place to live in?"
The Good side was awfully sparse.
The bad side was just filled, and I mean filled, to the brim.
Then Claudia and I disagreed on certain issues.
She's a total patriot and uh, I'm not.
So anyway Claudia was telling us not to be racist and then ten minutes later she discriminated the Japanese with this remark which I'm not about to put here, but anyway Japan is like Ian's mothership so he got all pissed and gave her the finger. Then he had this face, that was purely hilarious so I started cracking up and Ian decided to join my group instead because of Claudia and his 'creative differences'.

Then we got talking on local talent and Ho Yeow Sun (Is that how you spell her name?) and it was pretty funny how Ian got all worked up over the local band A Vacant Affair, Plain Sunset and all.
Felicia made a pretty amusing mindmap.

I'm going shopping on Friday.

2009-02-06T20:50:00.001+08:00

your emotions fill the entire screen
you talk about how you're hurt
but all i can see, under all those lines
are the words

i miss you.

i miss you, too.

CNY

2009-01-27T12:39:00.006+08:00

2009-01-16T16:00:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone,

I'm just putting a notice up that I won't be blogging that much this year, am concentrating on O's and all. Have recieved homework to complete over the weekends, the amount of which is bordering on insane.
This week has been amazingly good, just laughing and hanging out with the girls at school like nicholas and felicia.

Tests and remedials have started rolling in like balls of fire (everyone loves Elvis, sweetheart)
and am trying to juggle all the load. It gets easier if you have a group of friends to fool around with. Am starting revsion for O's next week, which is way late as compared to a few people I know, who started last november.

Am getting my new touch screen Samsung tmr, stoked like you wouldn't believe.

Spent time this week studying after school with Vanessa and Trevor.
I really miss everyone outside of school, because we haven't been able to find time to really catch up and have fun due to conflicting schedules.

Owe a huge kiss to nicholas who wins the most helpful person award. Shouldn't elaborate, I can see his head swelling with delight already.

Will take more pictures when I get my new phone with a better camera :)

For now, love you all.

2008-12-29T15:24:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone, am back from my vacation. I went snorkelling and learnt how to drive a speedboat :)
Spent all my time in the resort getting all tan and reading my magazines on the beach, is all.
Met a few people while on vacation, mostly people around our age who were staying in the same resort and we'd go jet skiing together or sunbathing together.
Haha I suppose the resort part of our vacation was fun because my dad took a snapshot of this guy and I almost died laughing. Will upload it another day.

Spent lots of time on the beach people watching and my god, you can see some wierdos if you observe carefully.

I saw lots of hot guys on this trip :)
Oh I remember!
This, I have to share.

It was shocking,really, because I was just strolling down the beach one morning and I saw these three guys that were so amazingly good looking I could just die right there and then. So I went to my spot, laid the towel out and took off my slip to suntan while watching them in the corner of my eye. I was waiting for them to like notice me so I flipped through my magazine nonchalantly and adjusted my bikini straps. They had such wonderful chests and I was just admiring their biceps when one of them turned around and I saw that he was wearing a male thong.

Mother of God.

Bloody hell, and he had such a nice arse, too.

Thats one damn sick scene I will never forget. Ew. And not just because his rear end looked so good but I couldnt get over how they were slathering sunscreen on each other's bum, all wearing male G strings.

I told you. All gorgeous men are either gay, or taken.
In this case, gay.

No wonder they werent interested in all the girls on the beach in bikinis and some even baring their entire rear end to tan.
No wonder they werent interested in me.

Hahah, What a pity.

Then our driver came to drive us back to Bangkok and oh my, I have never bought so much cheap stuff all my life.
I spent a total of uhm, about 5oo sgd there, which was way fun. :)

I got a black trench coat from Mango there for about 70 sgd. What a bargain.
Bought loads of others,will tell all another day.

For now, I love you all.

2008-12-02T19:26:00.002+08:00

Hi there. Went for lunch with pris at crystal jade and oh we saw two socialites that're always featured in society magazines :) And at this table that was adjacent to ours sat teachers from Fairfield. Am a very contented girl because I finally got my jolly ranchers.

Argh. So anyway pris got her frolick and I got my plant :)

Tmr's chem tuition with nicholaaaasssss i'm so stoked,oh my god.

Omg everyone have you SEEN colin's younger brother Ryan??
He's so hot.

2008-11-28T12:49:00.003+08:00

Yeah okay so maybe I'm a total idiot for not knowing or wanting to learn how to get a tagbox but will someone offer to help me,please?

Y'know what I just realised how dull this blog is cause there arent any pictures uploaded regularly,but oh,you can't blame me for not bothering,for various reasons which I'm not about to state here.
But I'll try,alright, that is,when I get my new phone.

Saw this girl the other day who had so much eye make up on,she looked like the illegitimate asian daughter of Ozzy Osbourne.

Oh did I mention my new love! Accessories! Wait I think I did. Anyway it doesn't matter.
So yes, get me more gold necklaces for christmas please.

Colin's party tonight he's an asshole but I'm still going with Erin.
Hah Erin wouldn't return me my calvin klein jeans so I retaliated by kicking her with my new five inch river island babies.

2008-11-27T21:36:00.002+08:00

God, I haven't blogged in the longest time ever,sorry everyone.
Jeez I should really get started on my homework which is awful,cause its going to be december soon and i'm going on holiday in december. At least,I think I still am.

Been an amazing week,met up with Faith yesterday,haven't seen her in two years and she couldn't recognise me at all. She actually walked right past me. Haha it was fun we went shopping and sat down to catch up.

Its been a week of compliments :)

God please give me more clothes and accessories.

Why is it that when you have a wad of cash you cant find a thing to buy and when you're broke you long for everything in the store!

blusher,much?

2008-11-09T21:58:00.003+08:00

Next man in line,please

Friday night

Went to Daniel and Daryl's party,it was great. Didn't drink much cause Trevor hardly allowed me to but managed to sneak a few. Saw Haley crawling under the table,damn she must've been bloody drunk. HAHA Amanda was hilarious I almost wet my skirt laughing so hard :) Was a little tipsy I suppose but could still walk straight no worries good thing I got a ride home. Oh oh the highlight was the pair of Chanel heels I wore to the party! Darn if only they were mine D: My aunt was nice enough to place her precious heels in my care for a night of fun and yes, being the mature and responsible adult I am -not- I took care of it and made it home without scratching the buttery soft beige and black leather.

Saturday

Had such a good time at cell it was about total forgiveness.
Didn't go to service at all. Spent the whole time sitting on the steps of the plaza with Yvonne, just talking. I felt rotten inside,is all. But I just let some things out which made me feel better.
I started talking and talking and trying to figure out whats wrong with me I started crying.
So we just sat there and when it got really dark I realised that eh someone else is sitting there too and hah guess who I saw. Uhm this girl in RJC uniform and Ryan.
Oh oh and then someone walked out from the shadows and ahahaha it was Brandoonnnnn
ahh I haven't seen him in forever and oh,believe me,I got a shock when I saw Brandon.

HE LOOKED SO SKINNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ookay so those of you who know what Brandon used to look like you will understand how stunned I was okay

He lost 17kg, for crying out loud.

You know what I actually recalled him telling me like about 2 months ago that he would start running and I didn't take him seriously you know I was sort of like, Oh sure.

!!

He looks so different, he can't even fit into his old school pants anymore its just falling off him.

And then I got all pissy at night la I couldnt sleep - some know why,some don't.

But its okay,I'm so over it already.

Sunday

Spent entire day searching the racks of Zara,F21,Topshop,Mango and even Far East Plaza and bloody Isetan ok haha we were desperate with Peiru and Amy for a prom dress,didn't find one D:
So yes,I think Peiru will wear Amy's Daniel Yam dress.
Am eyeing a beige cardigan from Zara :)

Vanessa started laughing when I said that.
Above.

2008-11-04T14:01:00.002+08:00

Its the holidays, everyone :)

I just really took in the amount of homework I have and the number of workshops I signed up for and yes, its quite a number but I'm not regretting it at all. I'm going to make this holiday a very packed and fulfilling one. :)

I decided to really find a balance to cope with all the work to get done and the parties, so yes, I will be showing up at Daniel's party!
Amanda is my hero! Hahah she's planning a schedule for us how fun! :D
Omg tmr is Chinese O's and Van is still slacking Hahah so yes hurry,Van,get your arse in gear. No time to spare! :D

6th is Haji day will be going with Van, omg, I'm so excited I want to pee in my pants

I want to go study with Kwang Teng! She's so frickin hardworking it makes me envious hahah

Oh yes, thank you PRISCILLA WILLIAM HENRY for the song list :)
I really loved What hurts the most.
I love you! :D

TREVOR CROSBY I cant wait for our chocolate high tea at Fullerton I want to scream!
Omg I can already imagine licking the Belgium chocolate off my fork.

Yum.

I don't know what was wrong with me on Saturday was just feeling like shit and needed some time alone I suppose but I sort of just cabbed home and cried myself asleep.
Ah, anyway.

Omg there was this bug in my room last night and I was kind of like, Omg no you cant leave me alone in here what am I supposed to do how can I actually sleep in this room knowing that a bug is flying around! And my very nice brother allowed me to camp out in his room HAHAH it was just like old times he sacrificed the bed and slept on the floor,poor Amos.
I just grabbed my comforter and pillows and bolster and ran to his room and shut the door quickly.
Stupid bug.

I love my brother.

HAHA.

2008-11-03T21:50:00.001+08:00

lets get physical.

Love.

2008-10-26T10:48:00.002+08:00

Morning,everyone.

Went out with Trevor yesterday to catch HSM 3.
Just needed to really chill after everything thats happened, so anyway. We went to Great World and its like The Best Place To Chill.
Everything was really laid back and all.
Went casual like white shorts and an emerald green Ralph Lauren polo tee and pastel green flip flops.Grabbed my mom's cobalt blue Loewe Kite in the most buttery leather.

Was slightly late so met Trevor outside Zara. He got me the usual,and my latte kept me warm,hurray!
Walked around Great World for awhile,saw the Patricia Field for M&S line!
Nice.
Trevor didnt want to watch a dumb show like HSM but ah, I talked him into it, yay me!
We got nachos,a large coke,salted popcorn and poured the chocolate over the popcorn, yum. :)
HSM was not bad but y'know what I still think the first installation was the very best.
Good choreography, though.

Went to walk around Copthorne Hotel eh is that the name? Ah,something like that.
Anyway we got into this cab and the moment my backside hit the seat the repulsive smell hit me. It was bloody strong I'm telling you. So I got out and Trevor was like,Hey whats wrong.
So he put his head in and realised why I got out of the cab and went, God,your cab stinks,man.
Its disgusting.
So we got into another cab and Trevor dropped me off at the condo.
Had a fun time with Charlotte playing games and talking about her holiday :)

when we were walking around he said it. soft into my ear.
i love you.
i smiled back and told him, i love you,too.

2008-10-23T13:33:00.002+08:00

Morning, love.

Now that exams are over, I barely even know what to do with all the time that I have. I cannot stand sitting around and getting nothing done.
I'll start studying for O Levels in November but as October comes to an end I have signed up for workshops such as baking and scrapbooking :D

Went out with Abi yesterday, it was seriously funny okay, we couldnt decide where to go so Abi was like,"Okay, the first bus that comes, we hop on it. Deal?"
So we ended up in Vivo.
How dull.
But anyway. We went to Carls Junior for lunch and shared a Portobello Mushroom Burger, Medium fries and Medium Zapple.
I heart Abi Chew!
Walked around, and I'm so happy, I got my white and gold bangles that I've been eyeing on for about three weeks now in a sale, at $6, so yes, on my way back home my hands couldnt help but creep into the bag and finger my much loved bangles.

Will be choosing Kunming,China for my Overseas Service Learning Programme next Jan/Feb.
Read Kim Choooo's blog on her experience there, was bloody hilarious.
HAHAH.

Have been praying for Sarah,hope she's doing fine.
She told me I LOVE YOU okay! HAHAHA Sarahhh I love you too! :D

Am on the phone with Trevor now,
Bye sweethearts.

Oh, I had a very satisfying dream last night.

You. Me.
Together,
Forever.

Go figure.

2008-10-20T11:43:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone,

Today was filled with relief, joy and laughter.

Relief because uhm I'm not going to say it here but to those who know what I did, all you have to know is that the problem is resolved and I was a total moron for having all those sleepless nights because Brandon was spot on.

During PE spent time talking with Dylan and Shimin and it was rather fun actually.
We shared about our dads and how most of the time we're closer to our moms. But Shimin's closer to her dad which is wayy cool cause well. I wish I were closer to my dad,too. Laughed about how you totally get sick of your chosen CCA after the initial enthusiasm wears out.
Joked about Zachary getting lost, the poor boy.
But Zachary is nice.

Then signed out with Nicholas and spent time chatting and joking about cosmetic surgery procedures and how Michael Jackson's nose completely fell off.
HAHA.
Sorry Nicholas, I spread my flu to you. So the two of us were in the GO sniffing away and breaking out into a fit of sneezes.
It was quite comical haha!

Today as I was on the way to the toilet I walked past this classroom and peeped inside cause they were blasting Christian songs and boy,was I inspired.
I saw a few Sec 4s sitting at their desks doing Chem past year papers and I just felt so awed because even when the Sec 4s were running their final lap of the race, hours before their Chem paper, they still held on to God and believed that with Him, all things are possible.

I just went weak inside as I saw them sitting on the shoulders of God, charging forward to win the race. Because as they sit for this incredibly important paper, God is guilding them, every step of the way.

Sec 4s, Persevere on, don't lose faith, because your Father is with you even as you step into the examination room.

Its not about how important and life changing this examination is, its how powerful our God is.
Because all of you can do better than ever before, with God.

Sec 3s, let us strive to be the very best cohort Fairfield has ever seen!

pictures :D

2008-10-17T09:35:00.012+08:00

i heart priscilla william henry!
pictures,everyone!

2008-10-14T09:23:00.002+08:00

Hello all,

I had such an amazing day at the Army and it was seriously fun okay.
We got to see the 3rd generation infantry weapons,try combat rations,joke around with the NS men,take photos of our salutes with the NS men,see Ah Gao's face turned black after trying to wash off the camou paint with water,get a square Hitler moustache painted on our faces,see the tall and goodlooking sniper unit guys,fire a GPMG with real bullets that could kill someone who stood in front of us, and watch the NS men run from their bunks to the parade square and get into formation.

It was seriously funny and we spotted one good looking NS man which was sort of our motive for going, anyway. But like what the hell la we didnt even get to ask for his name!

I'm sure all the guys in 2SIR battalion all hated us cause well, they were forced by their superiors to host us and they had to set up stations and all that which was more work for them,
but eh, once they recieve the presents all of us got for them and watch the hilarious video of us doing stupid things all day in the Indonesian forest where they will no doubt be feeling lousy and demoralized, no more hatred! :D

Thank you all 2SIR battalion guys at the Amoy Quee camp!
It was a bloody fun day.

TODAY

Went out for a morning run today to clear my head of all the thoughts that were swimming around in it,was so refreshing, I should really do this every Sunday.
Am waiting for Oprah to come on, but have figured a way to counter all the negative thoughts in my head- by thinking of yesterday :)

Can't wait for Nicholas to post the pictures but I really do hope that he won't post unglam photos of me without an advance notice of 48 hours to help me be mentally prepared of my crap photos being made public.

Today is the very last day I can enjoy, cause I'm getting back my papers tmr and I sure won't be a happy girl after recieving them. Don't think I'll be doing well this time round but ah, whats done is done. So yeah, I really want to enjoy today. Too bad everyone's having school today and I can't go out with anyone. I'll be staying home today or going to the Botanic Gardens to just sit and paint. Haven't decided yet.

Love you everyone.

2008-10-11T21:51:00.002+08:00

I'm a liar.
And a damn good one at that.
Don't think you know me, because I've lied to you,too.
I've lied to everyone. Even those people that I talk to on a daily basis.

You lie to people, and hide your face behind a veil of laughter, smiles and deceit,
because, if you don't, people will see that you are this close, to crumbling.

Today's the first time I sat out on service.
I just had to have some time alone to think.
So I spent the entire service time sitting on the steps of the Plaza.
I just felt so awful I had to get out.
So I grabbed my bag and got into a cab.
I made the driver stop at a NTUC so I could go in and get a cup of yogurt cause I was starving.
Ate the yogurt in the cab and ran to the bathroom the moment I reached home and threw up everything I ate into the toilet bowl and sat there for hours sobbing.

I'm breaking into pieces.

2008-10-03T22:10:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone,

Today was, by far, the most awful day of examinations. I think I'm going to scrape through E Math and it'll be a complete miracle if I actually get a B.
But oh, Physics, it was terrible!
I actually cried during the paper I gave up on the last question and I don't know, maybe emotions have been running high and I've been keeping alot inside, but I can't believe I cried. Thank God no one saw.
The paper was so tough, and thats saying quite a bit because I really did study for it.

Lord please let me scrape through.just a 50 would be lovely.

Anyway. Met Trevor today after talking to Rosanne for awhile.
I love you.

Oh and Pris I love you too. Thank you for talking to me. Just being.

Should I get the Prada lace tote, or the Mulberry Bayswater, or. the Marc Jacobs Multipocket Bag?

But I love them all!

So Far:
Two votes for the Prada lace tote- Trevor and Amanda.
Three for the Bayswater.

And nada for Marc Jacobs! D:

2008-10-01T10:46:00.003+08:00

Mernel Koh (1993-2008)

I'm not going to paint a picture where Mernel was a perfect girl
I'm going to describe her just as she was.
Imperfect, but a genuinely nice girl at the very core.

She would always agree to help me when I needed help in primary school
when I needed dancers
when I needed a bloody genius idea to wrap up a performance and set the bar for other teams to compete against.
when I threw up after dancing too much she and the girls cleaned me up and made me feel so much better.

On my first day in Fairfield Methodist Secondary School
I had no friends.
No one to sit with during recess,
or lunch, for that matter.

So I went to look for the few people that I actually knew.
To seek comfort, to seek solace, to seek the familiar.
I went to seek Mernel. Danielle.

And we spent the recess talking.

Will someone please tell me the details of the funeral if they find out. Thank you.

"Was she a Christian?", I ask.

2008-09-22T18:20:00.002+08:00

OMG I JUST GOT THE COOLEST PICTURE EVER, FROM JOSEPH :D

HAHAHA he snapped it and i look like a white ghost! D:

Its okay I'll be a white ghost wearing gap and ralph lauren and sexy t-bar wedges :D

ooh, everyone, check out Gaspard Ulliel.French actor :) He is by far, the sexiest man alive.

2008-09-22T17:49:00.005+08:00

I LOVE NICHOLAS HAHAHA

Hi eveyone,

Had a great day at school today, was just wrecked. Went to Jason's party on Sunday night and it was pretty wild. I swear, I am never going to throw back a drink again. Hah, but it was so worth it, the look on Joseph's face when he realised that I'm a pretty good drinker and I won't be letting him anywhere near my pants soon was priceless. Had a good time in English today, as usual, joking with Wen Min, Timothy and Dylan.

Alright sweethearts,here are some pictures.

Study Date with Angie at KAP :)

Homework D:

2008-09-19T22:09:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone,

The week's over once again and I'm so glad that I can say I've been a tad more productive than last week.
I got a Jesus loves you note from Calvin,yay :)
Had a good time laughing with Mag and Dylan today and Dylan has big hands! hahaha.
And omg I cant believe this and you wont,either, when you hear about it.
Every week when my tutor comes over to teach me chinese she takes this drink along all the time.
I sort of assumed that its just some wierd juice or tonic thing that old ladies drink,
so you would imagine my horror when I saw the label on the glass bottle.

VODKA WITH GREEN APPLE.

HAHAHAHAHAHA MY TUTOR'S A BLOODY ALCOHOLIC!

2008-09-17T16:58:00.002+08:00

Met Trevor today to study for awhile then headed home,I am so tired,fell asleep in Chem today.
Joked around in English with Dylan and Timothy
HAHA they started singing This Is Me together and I almost died laughing.

You say you love me
But do you really.

So show me.
Show me you love me.

2008-09-15T19:18:00.002+08:00

Studied with Calvin at Kap today, was pretty productive I suppose :)

It was supposed to be just me and him but after studying for awhile we realised that there were another bunch of Fairsians studying there, too.
So we joined Desmond, Alvern and a few other guys and then I realised that I was the only girl there D:

Anyway we had a pretty good time joking about Alvern's pervertic interest in girls, haha.

Will be meeting Angie for a study date tmr and Von for lunch on wed, ciao.

2008-09-12T22:51:00.002+08:00

Everyone, go view this blog : www.misspandorapandora.blogspot.com

Those French girls, they're so stylish.

And just looking at the pictures of this site makes me want to wear heels all over again.
www.fashiontoast.com
So yes, I'm back to my heels tomorrow, people :)
I have no idea which pair, though.
I think I'm wearing my white Ralph Lauren shorts tmr,but I'm not sure which top to go with it.
I was thinking the blue Banana Republic rolled up sleeves shirt with a thin black belt and my mom's black patent leather gladiator heels.

Vanessa,help me pick out what to wear! D:

Anyone knows a way to escape from Materialism?

2008-09-12T22:21:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone :D

Its been an incredibly busy week with lots of work and staying up in the night to get work done but I survived and I came out stronger and for that I'm so thankful.

Thank you Jesus for guiding me through.

I've been slightly upset, because I'm starting to realise that I'm becoming more and more materialistic day by day and thats just awful because there was once, when I wasnt that way at all.

Like how I chose the Emporio Armani and Lulu Guiness spectacles, how my eyes zoomed in onto my new teacher's Coach bag and Armani watch and all that.

I don't want to be like that.

But judging from how natural it was for me to lock onto all the designer goods it seems as though I already am that way.

Even Zara and Mango won't do it for me now. Its all too streamlined, too commercial and available.
I stopped flipping through Seventeen cause all they ever have in there are clothes from bloody Far East Plaza and I hate that place.
I started doing Female and ogling at the Prada bags.
Anyone seen the latest Helmut Lang collection?

Jesus please make me less materialistic.
You created me to be non judgmental but thats exactly what I turned into.
I repent and thank you for your grace. I accept your forgiveness into my life and thank you because you gave me what I didn't deserve. I love you Jesus.
Place in me humility and take away all the temptation I have to spend money freely.
I thank you for the money but help me to treasure every bit of what I have
and use it to bless the people around me.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray,
Amen.

2008-09-10T12:17:00.002+08:00

Morning,everyone.

Signed out of school today,experienced the most awful stomache ever in the morning and beared with the pain until after chem. Shared a cab back with jonathan and I dont know why but i felt messed up after talking to him in the cab. It was frustrating when I got home cause I tried to shake off the feeling but couldn't, so I went for the one thing that would help - Godiva.

And it did.
I dont know why but I feel pretty low now, but it definately has nothing to do with the chat I had with him.
Anyone up for a study date?

I told Sandra to take a rain check for our study date cause I wasnt feeling well.
Sandra,I'm so sorry. Really.

I'm mad at B right now so I'm not replying any of the messages.
And you. I dont know what to say at all, but whatever it is that I've done to make you upset or something with me, I'm sorry. I don't know why but it seems as though you're drawing away from me recently when we've always been so tight in the past.
But for whatever I've done, I'm sorry and I didnt mean to hurt you. Really.

The people that I once held closest to my heart are backing away

I'm scared.

I'm scared, that one day
I'll be left with nothing but a reflection of myself
staring back at me.

2008-09-05T11:31:00.001+08:00

omg ok so now i'm at trevor's place and i'm really not getting any work done because trevor keeps poking and disturbing me and ok i just remembered this, i want to share this with everyone,
omg i love my new shades. its from acessorize and its brown and gold.

but i still like my mom's ray bans better.
but i can borrow it from her :)

okay,so thats it,bye everyone!

2008-09-05T09:55:00.003+08:00

Morning, sweethearts.

Will make this a quick one, have to leave the house soon to Trevor's.

Tuesday
Had school early in the morning till like the afternoon and headed to Vivo to meet Van for a study date. Went to The Mussel Guys to have lunch and it was amazing.The view was beautiful, and I ate like you wouldnt believe. Then we studied till the evening and attempted to find a dress for senior's night, however unsuccesful. Which is also the reason why i skipped Senior's Night in the end.

Thursday
Headed over to Van's place to study,and exercise together.
By the time I headed home, I felt thinner,already! Hahah. Well. Its all in the mind.

Felt awful about missing out on Senior's Night and wanted to cry when I thought about it- the lost chance,the fun,the dress.

But what seemed like an unfortunate incident became a good thing, I suppose, in hindsight.
Cause' well.
My mom felt bad for me and we'll be going shopping this weekend.
She agreed to buy the calvin klein knit top I wanted and the dorothy perkins plain tee for me.

Hahah, so you see.
Everything turns out right in the end.

I'm in the mood to wear heels.
Is that a sign of being power hungry?
You know. The whole, propping yourself up thing.
Oh well.
Going over to Trevor's now to get more work done.
Or not.

Have a lovely day,everyone.

2008-09-02T20:15:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone.
Here's an update.

Friday and Saturday.
PJ party,it was fun :) We did a bit of studying,then we got french pedicures done. Stayed over and talked till three in the morning. I have such soft skin now :D Cause' I used the body shop body butter. Even my elbows and knees feel butter soft :)
Oh,dont you want to touch me now! haha.

Sunday.
Went out with Jason. Oh,it was real nice going out with him! Jason I love you :)
We went to Sushi Tei in Raffles City and I helped him pick out a pullover. We agreed that the Ralph Lauren looked best and it was the least itchy and scratchy. Hahah the cashmere was so soft.
It was nice meeting Jason after so long,its been what, 9,10 years?
and oh god,he's grown! and his fingers are fine!
Okay now you guys must think I'm such a total perv with a wierd fixation on guys with nice hands and fingers,but no its not like that.

You see,way back in kindergarten I broke Jason's fingers.
Shit,we were like what,five? and all i did was to leave the door open and his hand was on the side of the door when it slammed shut and broke all his fingers.
ok i know,i know
let me skip all the awful moments.

so he went into hospital and my parents felt awful and they bought him 60 computer games okay i can still remember!

10 years later,we meet again to catch up and talk.
So yes his fingers are fine. In fact he's in rugby.
Oh thank God.
because if the fingers didnt work it'd be all my fault.

aside from all the unpleasant finger breaking he is the funniest person ever.
HAHAHAHA he doesnt really care about how others may judge him he just does things that make him and the people around him happy.
i almost died laughing okay and to my horror i started snorting really loudly.

i'll end with this.
go listen to 'there were roses' on youtube.
i cried listening to it.
go read the lyrics of the song.

2008-08-27T18:00:00.000+08:00

super
skinny
me

this is what i want

2008-08-22T09:48:00.002+08:00

morning, sweethearts.

god i had the most awful night last night,
i dont want to talk about it.

i cabbed to trevor's place and he called tyler and amanda and told them to come over.
i felt so miserable i told them everything.

oh god thank you for friends.
mandy got really mad and started formulating a plan
i never knew she was this much of a bitch. well. in the nicest possible way.
i love them all.

2008-08-18T21:17:00.002+08:00

HAHA omg this is like the best debate motion ever.

This House would gladly assasinate Vladimir Putin.

This House would pay morbidly obese people to lose weight.

This House would allow the use of torture.

HAHAHA.

i'm standing in the rain
crying
shaking
but no one comes for me

i cry
i scream
i fight

but no one hears me

2008-08-10T18:18:00.007+08:00

you make me smile,
i love you.

HAHAHA what the heck is priscilla doing!

whoa,whoa, anna! acting cool and aloof!

bickering is what brings us closer

nicole: "eh rachel why everytime i take photo you're always moving!"

oh my,i look like a retard in that picture but who cares,
its my birthday!

the nicest waiter found out that it was my birthday
and rallied the staff to sing me a loud birthday song.
they made me this cotton candy birthday cake! HAHAHA

anna and nicole

fighting over camera rights

nicole laughing like mad HAHAHA
look at anna look at anna!
she has the diao face!

anna giving her best "i'm-so-sexy" face

sweet as cotton candy,
you brighten up my day.

priscilla william henry,
i love you to bits.

there, there, thats the nice waiter!

okay everyone, ignore my un-glam mouth,
i know its highly disturbing,but still!
focus on my freshly manicured nails!

what is she doing

the nice waiter wont let us take a photo of him!
he keeps ducking or blocking his face! D:

there,there.
look at that. its blur, but you can see it, faintly.

2008-08-10T17:31:00.003+08:00

i just wanna scream and lose control
throw my hands up and let it go
i just wanna fall and lose myself
laughing so hard it hurts like hell

hi there.

i nicked the lines above from priscilla's blog, heh.
was just reading all her older posts,dating back to like two years ago. i miss her.
sometimes its like we hardly ever talk anymore, but i still remember the times we had.
priscilla i love you.

on a brighter note, everyone, go to nicholas's blog to view the promotional video we made for 3A! we're applying for the Model Class of the Year award!
i swear, 3A deserves it, we are the most amazing class on earth.
hahaha omg, plus there's this retarded video of me laughing to myself (heh,actually no, nicholas and felicia were laughing like idiots,too) and sharing to the whole bloody world what i have learnt about biology from felicia.
looking back, it wasnt even funny la, haha!
i think it was all the caffeine i consumed.
oh well.
i dont really know what to say here, except that brandon's trying to pull of a bloody huge stunt and now that he's in trouble he wants me to bail him out.

oh god i forgot i have something creepy to share.

that day after school i was walking home with tyler and i saw this skinny indian man, i think he was drunk,or something.
so it was a particularly windy day and so i held my skirt down to prevent it from being blown right up by the wind.
and i walked past the man and he laughed to his friends and said, "hahaha,why? you scared your skirt fly up ah? why dont you pull up your skirt and show me what you've got on under there."

so i got mad and smashed my waterbottle into his face and suddenly tyler punched the guy.
i was like, oh,shit, tyler okay thats enough thats enough!
and tyler went," dont you ever dare to speak to any woman like that, do you hear? fucking pervertic man." then he slapped him once more and walked away.

yeah i was incredibly disgusted at the cretinous arsehole for saying that but shit i was surprised that tyler could be so fierce and scary.
even I was scared of him.

oh i just recieved the lovely pictures from nicole! :D
take a look.

2008-08-10T14:47:00.000+08:00

QUOTES.

2008-08-10T14:18:00.000+08:00

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly." - Sam Keen

"You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person."

You don't love a woman because she's beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her."

"The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention." - Richard Warren

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it. " - Ivan Panin

Mary O'Connor:

It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted.

2008-08-05T16:09:00.002+08:00

i scored 28 over 30 for my english argumentative essay :D yay me!
i'm researching on philosophy for my lit homework now, oh i'm so,so hooked onto one step at a time by jordin sparks.

its so amazing.

let me share with you my theory:

brandon sings gay songs like say ok by vanessa hudgens in the shower
his signature dance move is probably the robot man
he's afraid to act like a total pansy in public so he does it in the shower, where no one can see him
and when he steps out of the bathroom he punches ryan to look more of a man

HAHAHA i cant imagine brandon doing the robot man!

i'm so annoyed with mr tan but i wont say why here.
ugh.

so, anyway.
trevor's back from his holiday and we went to dempsey hill yesterday :D school released at like ten plus yesterday cause it was Founder's Day and it was super fun. he picked me up at the mrt station and we went to dempsey. we sat at jones the grocer for coffee. i got a latte,he got a cappucino.
then after lunch he sort of went, okay now lets go to raffles cc.
and i was like, huh? for what?
so he said to get tan and he laughed. i didnt bring any clothes to change i was still in my school pe tshirt but it turned out that he brought clothes for me to change into.

so, thats how i got a new set of clothes from billabong plus one striped bikini.
dont know how he knew my size but who cares they fit.

i like the shorts the most, its like green with black trimming. pink,orange,red and yellow words. and and, there are sequins that were sown randomly on the side :)

the bikini was pretty ordinary, just white and blue striped billabong.
then we went tanning and then i went home.

ahh, i need to do my lit philosophy thing now, bye.

pris i hope you're feeling better :) i love you.

2008-07-27T21:17:00.002+08:00

hey everyone, sorry for such an incredibly long time since i last updated, but i've been busy beyond belief. just completed my english argumentative essay and i'm really proud of it :)

oh,and thank you priscilla for the present! hahaha i love love.
she gave me the most adorable care bear ever!

my mom got her knickers in a twist when i asked if i could borrow her loewe bag. haha but then she laughed and allowed me to anyway.

i miss trevor. he's on summer break. oh come back.

2008-07-18T18:43:00.003+08:00

i told a lie.

and now i'm in trouble for it.

but there is one way out.
i'm working on it now.

oh god, i'm never gonna tell such a huge lie again.

i look in the mirror and i hate the girl i see, staring back at me.
i'm changing, i'm morphing into someone no one would think i am.
and i'm scared of myself.
i'm scared of what i am turning into.
i'm scared of my own brain.

cause you see, change is relative.

2008-07-09T17:07:00.004+08:00

ohmygod i think i know trevor's whole underwear wardrobe. HAHAHAHAHA eh how come i always know whats in people underwear drawer? trevor wears Armani underwear! :D

hahahaha.

i know he really,really doesnt appreciate me posting it up here, but still.

its a step up from the calvin klein underwear that i wear.

okay,so far, i know what type of underwear trevor wears, i know every piece of underwear nicole ( not nicole lim shu mei ) wears, i know paul's boxers wardrobe only because his maid folded everything neatly and placed them on his huge satin bed HAHAHA and i know kate wears La Senza undies.

oh,and i happen to know priscilla owns red underwear!

oh god,i just realised i'm a total perv!

but its not my fault nicole left them lying around in her luggage, paul's maid put it all on display(HAHAH, i still cant get over that one), kate made me go shopping with her to get new underwear cause she decided to throw all her old ones out, and i saw trevor's when i was at his place.

is anyone willing to buy me a chanel necklace?

2008-07-09T16:51:00.004+08:00

HAHA omg i had the most fun today!

okay so i spent the morning sleeping and then i met kathleen,alvern and tim at school to start brainstorming and preparing for our debate and it went surprisingly well :)

we really focused and got work done. they'll send out details and points to me tonight so that i can start writing my speech. i get only three minutes to speak. ahh.
so we were talking and tim was rather confident.
but i think we still shouldnt underestimate them just cause' they're a neighbourhood school. i mean, what if they totally whack us at the debate?
and if we keep thinking we've got the upperhand we'll get complacent.

so we're just trying to keep the ideas going while chilling at the same time.

so on to the good part.
i'm at trevor's place now and i'm staying over tonight.
we're just sitting in his room talking and laughing.
we're going to Lau Pa Sat later cause i have a huge craving for satay right now and i begged trevor to go with me.

because you live, my world has twice as many stars in the sky.

je vous aime.

2008-07-08T14:46:00.001+08:00

De toi à moi
Il y a des choses qui n's'expliquent pas
Tant elles se confondent
Tant elles sont profondes, légères à la fois
De toi à moi
Il y a je crois des mots qui n'osent pas
Des mots qui n'osent plus
Et si nos amours déçus semblaient savoir
De toi à moi

i love you.

more than you think i do.

2008-07-08T11:39:00.002+08:00

hi everyone,

oh god i feel so sick when i listen to jesse mccartney's songs now. he wrote them to katie cassidy! what the heck he could do way better than that. ugh.

the songs are nice, but when i think of the fact that the lyrics are directed to her i feel sick. ewww.

okay this is officially the last day of my jesse mccartney phase.

i'm having e learning and so i'm at home now.
i had like the sickest dream ever of priscilla and it was disgusting haha.
i dont intend to tell her what it was cause she'll think i'm a total perv! HAHA.
oh well. i love you,priscilla :D
thank you for making me feel better yesterday and putting up with all my nonsense. :)

retail therapy, anyone?

2008-07-04T19:58:00.001+08:00

i am so addicted to jesse mccartney's leavin' and just so you know.
he sounds beyond sexy singing in french de toi a moi.

2008-07-04T09:51:00.001+08:00

oh oh, i forgot! or, you could get me a book! :D

stayed home today i think i'm missing out on all the fun at school cause they're all doing funfair prep.

i'm not getting any better my flu just got worse.

2008-07-04T09:27:00.002+08:00

its my birthday sooon, and ahh, i've placed a list of the things i want so it might make things easier for those who wants to get me a present yet does not know what to give me.
[ okay, its my first time doing this, demanding people get me these things, heh. ]

dont worry i wont make you buy me a kate spade wallet heh,i'm not so mean :D

old navy, women's clean front shorts
http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/product.do?cid=26197&pid=552037
USD $9.99

old navy, women's double stone chain necklace
http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/product.do?cid=26201&pid=521924
USD $6.99

old navy, women's drop stone bangles
http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/product.do?cid=36302&pid=521944&scid=521944002
USD $4.99

old navy, women's stone pendant necklace
http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/product.do?cid=26201&pid=521921
USD $6.99

old navy, women's wrapped stone bangle
http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/product.do?cid=26201&pid=521946
USD $4.99

or, any long necklace or bangle from f21.
:)
heh. right now i'm really into bangles and necklaces.
thank you :)

or you could get me a card and write loads of things in it! oh i love recieving cards! :D

2008-07-02T21:57:00.003+08:00

right now i am so in love with jesse mccartney. he is gorgeous. and sweet,gentlemanly oh my god i want to cry i love him so bad.

HAHA i sound so ridiculous, but i really do love jesse mccartney. hello, does anyone know if he's still single?
i would die if he came to singapore!

okay, sorry everyone, time to go, cause i have some major fantasizing to do.

jesse mccartney is the sexiest man on earth.

2008-07-02T16:28:00.002+08:00

hello, everyone!

i'm feeling brighter today even though i had a relatively bad day. but oh well.
i met trevor for lunch we went to new york new york.
he was super funny HAHA! oh, trevor is the love!

i had pasta and trevor got fish and chips and we shared the calamari.
the fries were so good okay i kept stealing them from trevor.

am preparing for the debate now, arghh i hope we can pull this off.

GO FAIRFIELD! :D

had lots of fun in english class today with timothy,wen min and dylan.
we kept laughing over timothy's antics he looked like he was out to seduce people- both girls and guys. then mr rabbech chose timothy,wen min and i to read out a part of Macbeth and it was hilarious. i played the part of the first witch and then wen min was like, eh take the broom take the broom! HAHA so i took it and put it between my legs. heh. then when i was reading halfway i realised that i sounded like i had short tongue cause of the stupid retainers and i went, "eh sorry ah,i need to take my retainers out."

so i pulled it out of my mouth and the guys all started laughing and everyone was like, "oh,sick!"
HAHA heh,sorry. i didnt mean to gross everyone out.

then there was this line,"I come, graymalkin!"
and i was like, "I come, gray-" and i couldnt help it i snorted and laughed so hard HAHAHAHA

WHAT THE PONG! hahahahaha

i still cant get over it.

and in lit ms sheena showed us this video of the auditions of bulgarian idol and it was hilarious! HAHAHA the woman walked into the audition room and went, today i am going to sing "ken lee" by Mariah Carey.

and the judge was like, "uh, dont you mean Without You?"
and she looked very grave and said, "No."

then she went on to sing Mariah Carey's Without You off pitch and it was absolutely awful and she sang some wierd lyrics, at first i thought it was bulgarian but when she finally stopped singing the judges asked her, "May i ask what language were you singing in?"
she said, " English."
and she looked so pleased that she was able to sing in english and it was hilarious cause she went, "ken leeeeeeeeee, ohhhh, toliboolibu dou choo, ken leeeeeeeeee, ken lee meju morrrr"

HAHAHAHA

2008-07-01T20:43:00.002+08:00

hi everyone, okay so the first week of school has been looking pretty good :)
i know this week will be great,too,cause we're doing funfair preparations and we get to skip classes on thurs and fri.
isnt that wild?

van is so jealous of me cause we have e learning next week too.

i dont really know what to say here, except for the fact that i'm feeling a little down even though there's nothing to feel down about.
yesterday i cried to my mom for no reason at all and it was rather wierd.
but my nice mommy said its fine and i had to let it all out.
i just got back my ORCA book and i'm going to type my review out here.

This book is about a boy, Peter Houghton who has been teased and bullied all his life, and one day, he decides to take a stand and put a stop to all the bullying- once and for all. He takes four guns into the high school and starts shooting at anyone, particularly at the "popular" kids in school who made his life a living hell. Ten students wind up dead in the hallways and classrooms of the school, many more injured, and all the students with scars too deep to see. Peter is then arrested and sent to jail awaiting trial. I quote a part of the book,

"I wonder if anyone works any harder at anything than kids do at being popular. I mean, even the air traffic controllers and the President of the United States take vacations, but look at your average high school student, and you'll see someone who's putting in time twenty four hours a day, for the entire length of the school year. So how do you crack that inner sanctum? Well, here's the catch : its not up to you. What's important is how everyone thinks of how you dress, what you eat for lunch, what shows you TiVo, what music is on your ipod. I've always wondered,though : If everyone else's opinion is what matters,then do you ever really have one of your own?"

I feel that in today's context, popularity is an issue that needs to be addressed. It is more prominent in America as compared to Singapore, but i can relate to this book, because i have always felt a need to be accepted by my peers and to be viewed as "popular". Singapore kids are not as harsh, not many students get labelled as "losers" or "unpopular" and as a result of that, get beaten up in school.

You see this particular issue of popularity in almost every teenage movie produced in America,and most would think that it is just exaggerated in the movies, when in fact, they're not. There is a pressure on teenagers nowadays, something that not many adults understand : We care so much about how people view us, and how they may judge us, so we tend to hide behind a facade which we create to gain social acceptance. You see, popularity has to be seen as something you are, when in reality, its what you make of yourself.

Most teenagers are insecure, and they fear that if they reveal their true selves, people will not like them, so the facade is sort of a protection to ensure that they will be liked by their peers.

There is a connection between the book and my life - I am one of those girls who hide behind a facade, too. Just to be popular.

2008-06-20T15:22:00.002+08:00

i have alot of undone homework.

shit.

oh no,i think i am in love with my hairdresser!
i want to cry how can i fall in love with him he's TWENTY FOUR.

but there's a small,tiny voice in my that cries,"but he's hot!"

ahhh,ahh,ahhhhh.

okay i have to focus.
he smokes.
eww.

okay,forget him.

i am not looking forward to school reopening.
it makes me feel sick in my gut.
oh god.

2008-06-17T09:29:00.002+08:00

i have decided.
i'm going to do it.

i found out that dominic is working as an associate manager now.
i think it broke my heart.
no,sorry that was an understatement.
it smashed my heart.
if i had to go to his mother's house to get my hair cut by him and sweep up the hair myself i would gladly do it.

i still want to cry.
i'm going to the scene at wisma atria. heard that its quite good.
but never as good as kim robinson +.
oh god DOMINIC HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME PLEASE CUT MY HAIR!

2008-06-15T11:09:00.002+08:00

i sat in the backseat of the cab and saw my reflection in the glass window and thought,
i hate the girl i became.

my eyes began to fill up and i didnt want you to see it,
so i faced the other way and when you asked, are you okay?
i turned around and flashed the brightest smile i could muster,and replied, oh, peachy.
"thats not a happy smile."
and then you kissed me.
and we left it at that.

CELL CHALET PICTURES

2008-06-10T11:55:00.013+08:00

this is crystal

nicole at burger king :)

anna and angie

anna,jamie and me

tabitha and angie

angie and me :D

our chalet's stupid name HAHAHA

wet haired girls

trying our hand at modelling SNTM

ANTM

declaration of love by singing a thousand miles

marshmellow mess

laughing so hard

snacking at 2am

jamie :D

tabitha manages to ruin pictures every time

hi there,from inside the cupboard

want to fight arh

everyone hearts mooliong

oh my god i have a hole!

the nicest person ever

what did i tell you?
my point exactly!

nicole and tab

2008-06-10T10:37:00.002+08:00

you think you know me,
but really.you dont.
not at all.

you say you love me,
but do you really.

people say that loving someone is to allow them to hurt you,yet trusting that they wont.
its not love,when i dont even allow you to come close enough to be capable of hurting me.

he came bursting into the roof top garden
"wait.are either of you suicidal?"
"NO!" we went simultaneously

silently thinking to ourselves,
oh,if only he knew.

2008-06-03T23:29:00.002+08:00

hi everyone :)

i just watched CSI and it gave me the creeps so i wanted to do something which would take me mind off what i had just seen. so i'm blogging :)

i'm going to trevor's place tmr,cant wait :D
i saw an ad in the papers today,asking for volunteers to shed their hair and go bald for the Breast Cancer Foundation and i thought,why not?
you know,its scary,but i really want to do it.

the only thing thats stopping me from doing it is thinking about hearing all the mean whispers from everyone who sees my bald head.
if no one would gossip about my hair when i go back to school,i really wouldnt mind to do it.

now i'm really convinced i should do it. i think i should ask someone about this first before i do it.
whether its a good idea or not.
i was thinking maybe to ask yvonne. or my counsellor,gerald tsai.
i wouldnt want to ask those people who would go,"oh,my god, are you mad? you'll look so ugly !"
or,"but its your lovely hair!"
i mean,i am,so sick of people like that,and some of them are my friends.
i mean like, so what? its only hair.

i hope trevor will approve of it.

i really dont get it. whats so bad about not having hair?
stop condemning and hurting those who dont have hair.
people are only insulting those who do not have hair just because they are not like them and,well, basically,they're different.

i fell asleep on his bed
when i woke up the next morning,he kissed me and said,
"Morning,sunshine."
then he smiled,and i snapped a picture of him in my mind,
because he was at his happiest. so was i.

2008-06-01T23:26:00.002+08:00

the love between a man and a woman that they depict in romance movies doesnt exist.
i'm going through the phase again.
i dont believe in love.

make me.

someone,sweep me off my feet in a whirlwind romance
take me into your arms and never let me down
show me what love can be
love me with all your heart
make me believe in love again

i listen to the songs on the radio
steve tyrell
songs that make me cry
and i wonder.
how do all these songwriters write these love songs,
when the love they describe isnt even there to begin with?

they sell us a big fat lie
but we just believe it anyway.

2008-05-30T18:33:00.003+08:00

trevor called.
oh my,i'm so touched.
haha we spent an hour talking, mrs crosby invited me over to dinner again! she's doing turkey so she told trevor to invite me :) i'll be going on wednesdayyy i cant wait.
trevor's picking me up from the airport wait till he sees the brooks brothers tailored shorts i got him.

saw disney princess paraphernalia today,wanted to get the pack for pris and nicole to share but they only had one pack left and part of the notebook was torn :(

my parents have narrowed the school search down to one school- the Bishop Strachan School for girls. its not too bad you can go to their website to take a look. that is,if we get the approval for canadian citizenship. but there's a boy's school just down the road and apparently the two schools collaborate on many events.so thats good :)
its a good school its like some anglican church thing.

http://privateschool.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=privateschool&cdn=education&tm=85&gps=66_10_1916_1031&f=10&tt=3&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A

duncan and i went out in the morning to get a few bagels and guess what some dogs started sniffing me and i almost screamed. its not that i hate dogs,no,its just that i thought they were gonna bite me. and i had this look of sheer horror on my face so duncan started cracking up but its not funny okay i was bloody terrified. dean and deluca serves the best coffee ever,pris,its better than the starbucks that you crave.

I GOT A DEAN & DELUCA BAG,BABY!

2008-05-29T18:49:00.002+08:00

we went to New York. took a translatic flight and its like what,2/3 hours?

i love my dean & deluca bag. even though i paid SGD $26 for it. but it is so worth it.

we went to the store on Madison Ave.

okay so before everyone who read the last post starts to think that i'm a total upscale snob i'm going to tell you that i'm not. i'm totally normal i do cheap stuff too.

let me tell you all the cheap stuff i got! :D

a pair of brown leather wedges SGD $26
a pair of black glitter ballet flats with a ribbon in the front SGD $10 [can you believe it]
a chiffon skirt with cherry prints SGD $15

oh my,i heart shopping :D
i heart my friends in church
i heart trevor
i heart priscilla
i heart angie
i heart nicole
i heart van
and of course,i heart brandon [KEEP GOING, DONT TOUCH THE CIGARETES]

i heart very few people in my school. heh.

i regret not buying the black patent leather gladiator heels today cause my mom said it was, "too mature for my age".

oh well. i'll conclude with an apology to van for not wishing her a happy birthday. sorry!
well its not my fault the stupid man kept tapping his toes to tell me to hurry up and log off the computer so that he can use it. asshole.
but still. sorry van!

2008-05-28T20:46:00.004+08:00

i went shopping. okay i know you guys are excited,so listen.
this place is a shopping haven.

BCBG Max Azaria,Chanel,Gucci,Versace,Valentino,Dolce & Gabbana,Brooks Brothers,Ralph Lauren,Tommy Hilfiger,Laura Ashley,L.L Bean,UCB,Coach,Christian Lacroix,Marni,Missoni,Loewe,Banana Republic,Armani Exchange,FCUK,Gap,Bally,Tod's,Hogan,and so many more stores that i cant even remember.

my eyes just danced around with delight.i grabbed a cappucino and headed straight for Gap.

the whole damn place is like a bloody shrine for high end capitalism.

and get this,they're cheap.

bought:
large coach handbag,SGD $400
Banana Republic leather handbag, SGD $200
Tommy Hilfiger jeans SGD $80
FCUK jeans, SGD $40

those are my best buys.
bought much more.

can you believe it,UCB cardigans are going for $20.Banana Republic skirts are going at $15.
Tommy Hilfiger tops going at $30.Gap sweatshirts going for $15.

i almost cried. this is the best place ever. Coach bags-50% off,and they're original.

seriously i'm not kidding. i have the paper bag and if you say its fake,go look inside.

its the real deal,babe.

i know you're dying of envy right now :)

we went to the fish market that day and i cried like a baby.
i'm terrified of fish markets. partly cause of the smell.
if i tell brandon this he'll laugh his head off.
it is so not funny i thought i was about to have an embolism right there and then.

i wonder how's everyone.
brandon,how many ciggies have you done.
pris,what did you buy in malaysia?
van,i know you're just dissolving as you read this now you are so jealous,babe admit it.

i'm heading to Dean & Deluca now,need to get some groceries.
Actually thats just an excuse,i just want the Dean & Deluca bag. heh.

love you guys. ciao.

[ohh,everyone speaks french here i dont understand what shit they're talking about.thank god thats just their mother tongue.everyone still speaks english.]

2008-05-26T20:30:00.002+08:00

hello from canada!

hi everyone,okay so i'm using the computer in my apartment to type this,and i just wanted to give you guys an update. i'm here already and its rather cold here but its really nice the people are honest and friendly. i went to see the Niagara Falls and it is truly amazing. i just sort of looked at it and thought of how amazing our God is.
i have a neighbour and he's very nice. he's half japanese and half american and he has an impossibly long and unpronouncible japanese name but thank god for his english name. Duncan. he's two years older,i think. when i first met him i just thought,wow.
he was wearing a pair of seven jeans,a paul smith shirt and a prada duffel.
thats why.
then i found out his dad drives a black porsche spider.
that explains alot.
thank God i didnt look too shabby i was in my jill stuart floral dress and arm candy of choice would be the louis vuitton speedy i stole from my mom.

i sound so materialistic.
ahh,okay,so anyway.

he brought me to this deli thats really near our place and the park,too,which was lovely. and then i started thinking how i wouldnt mind to live here at all.
i am beyond tired.
you should see the amount of stuff i bought. where to start?

my eyes are drooping already darling.
will try to update once again.
love you guys.

[someone please tell me how hillsongs concert went!]

2008-05-23T18:57:00.002+08:00

hi everyone!

okay so i'm at the airport using their free internet access to type this now. just had a chicken and bacon sandwich in o briens,am pretty satisfied and full.saw a fat man in watsons buying condoms just now.haha.
am waiting for boarding now.

i'm hiding behind a facade that i'm too afraid to erase.
my whole life is built around that facade.
what happens when you take away the centre,the heart,the facade?
all you're left with is a husk,an empty shell of what used to be.

i'm feeling more alone than ever.

2008-05-20T19:45:00.002+08:00

i'm leaving in a few days. i cant wait :) i'll miss everyone,especially: trevor,pris,people in cell,von,brandon.

i want to kick and yell and shout and scream.
and yet i hold it all in.

i'm fine.

am i lying to myself,or the people around me?

2008-05-20T19:44:00.000+08:00

thank you trevor for the massimo dutti floral dress.

2008-05-15T20:47:00.001+08:00

i closed my eyes and you kissed my eyelids, as if to stop the tears from flowing.

2008-05-11T18:11:00.002+08:00

today i woke up and felt like shit. so i ate a sandwich and went out. i stepped out of the house in my rainbow roxy shorts,a white tshirt,and my lime green womens secret velvet hoodie. then i realised that i was actually braless. thank god for my hoodie. so i went back in and got dressed properly. then i cabbed to his place. and when i got out of the cab i pressed the doorbell and he appeared at the door in his green ripcurl shorts and grey tshirt. damn i think i woke him up. okay so he pressed the button to let me in through the gate and i went in and said hi to mrs crosby who gave me a hug. then we went to his room and the moment we got in there he went,whats wrong? and i must've really looked like shit for him to actually notice that so i just told him. i told him everything. by the time i got to the end i was actually crying in his arms and trying to smile. i think i must've looked so ugly then with my red squinty eyes and the pink hairband. then we talked and laughed for awhile more and went out for ice cream.

then he said,

2008-05-05T18:25:00.002+08:00

He pushed his fingers through his hair and said, 'My whole life was about her,' he took a deep breath and broke down. 'What if her whole life wasnt about me?'

i love you.

WHEN YOU KISSED ME IT WAS LIKE YOU POURED OUT YOUR SECRETS TO ME

2008-05-05T18:14:00.002+08:00

i told brandon what i have never told anyone else before.
i think he got a shock.
but thank you.

trevor i like your grey cashmere pullover :)
god its so soft.

day one of work attachment:
we got all the shite jobs i'm never working in science centre again.
i dont see how it'll "help me in the future" as i do not plan to work as a clerical assistant.
but it was fun me,abi joy and cassie laughed so much we just fooled around.

i love you trevor thank you for sending me home heh sorry i fell asleep.

best day ever

2008-04-23T18:00:00.002+08:00

today was the best day ever. seriously. i'm at trevor's house now,typing this. i had an amazing day ok my class got scolded but lets not focus on the bad things. so i'll share about all the awesome things that happened. ok lets start with e math class. i know i shouldnt say it here cause for all i know, teachers are reading this so i'll just reveal this bit. thank you kelly lim for saving me! :D

and history class was hilarious we learnt about communism and about north korea's leader who calls himself the majestic father of korea or something. bryan han is so funny. i think going to history class is always a joy cause you can be sure people arent afraid to question mr tan and he'll always tell us funny anecdotes about people in history. like that one time he told us about the first tank that was ever created. the british created it. and they loved it cause they felt so clever to be able to invent something that was as frightening as a tank.

the thing is,the tank was so freaking loud, the enemies could hear them coming miles away. and when they reached the enemies' base,the enemy was already there,expecting them. HAHAHA wait till you hear the rest. the first tank that was created had an exhaust pipe.
but the thing is,the exhaust pipe was INSIDE the tank. and all the soldiers inside the tank concussed and had psychological problems for the rest of their lives cause of all the gas they breathed in. HAHAHA. apparently the gas made them grumpy and they were grumpy old men for the rest of their lives! HAHAHA.
so you see. this is a classic example of why we love history class.

okay,sorry for the digression. back to how awesome my day was.
so now i'm in trevor's house and it was so funny after school i went to his house and mrs crosby was so nice she made me sit down and have a nice cup of tea. so after tea we went out to the backyard to play soccer and you know how bad i am at it. so trevor taught me how to kick it into the net and after a few attempts he decided to be the goalkeeper and he told me to try to get it in. so i kicked.

and i hit trevor's head with the ball!

HAHAHAHA i was like oh my god,are you okay,are you okay?? then i couldnt help it i just started laughing so hard cause it was so funny to see the look of horror on his face and that's when it started raining. but i wanted to do one last kick so we made it a quick one. and just when my foot touched the ball i slipped and fell on my butt and i was like laughing so hard,my stomach hurt, and i was going like,ow ow ow! and trevor was standing there grinning like mad so i kicked his leg and made him slip and fall onto the grass. we were both so muddy and disgusting but we just sat there laughing. i love hanging out with trevor. and when we went back in mrs crosby said, "you too look disgusting,with the mud and all that. go take a shower." and i was like, "thanks. man i feel so attractive right now." and she laughed and gave me a towel. so i got a shower and changed into trevor's tshirt which is huge and now we're going to the ice cream parlor.

sick

2008-04-22T17:24:00.003+08:00

okay so i didnt go to school today,was sick. stayed at home and watched a clip of brandon's choir performing at VCH a few weeks ago. it was quite funny,you know,their hand actions and all cause i cant imagine brandon doing all the gay hand and finger twirling. but he did. haha.

in the morning i messaged pris and apologized for being such a horrible,horrbile bitch of a friend cause i was so self centred and didnt really care about other people's problems i just wanted to solve mine.and thank God,she's not mad at me. i miss talking to her.its been too long. i love you,pris :)

then i talked to trevor in the afternoon and it was nice cause he made me laugh so hard and lighten up about my chem test. seriously if you're ever sad go talk to trevor! i spoke to mrs crosby and she invited me over for dinner so i'll be going over tmr after school to play till dinner.whee :)

omg,i really want to go to the ACJC staged production of Pride and Prejudice,but my parents said that i shouldnt go cause i'll reach home at like 11.30 and i have to shower,blow dry my hair, and i have school the next day :(
oh well.its ok i'll just get charmaine to tell me how it went.she's going to support Nicholas who landed the leading role of Mr Darcy :)

i'm feeling happier already,for some reason. oh shoot. time to go, have to revise for my chem test.

*go check out Accidentally in love by Counting Crows,its awesome. and at the same time,go catch Big Yellow Taxi :)

ciao.

awful day, but got better in the end

2008-04-17T17:42:00.007+08:00

Nicholas and Jarell

Priscilla and Nicole in cell :D

Me and the China exchange student, Joy :)

hi everyone. today was awful right from the start. ahh so many things went wrong, where should i start? okay i'll just list everything out : my a math file was so thin and i think i'll be totally getting whacked by mr ganesan but by the end of school i was just so sick of everything i didnt have the mood to fret and run around finding a solution to my problem. then yesterday i found out that IL and MT had been together when i liked him and i was so stupid i thought they were just friends so i told MT that i liked IL. oh god, what was i thinking? ugh. but it was like two years ago and there's nothing i can do now cause its wayy too late. some things really pissed me off and made me depressed all over again but i won't list them here cause i know people are reading this. ok now here's the best part of the day. after school ended i went to my dental clinic in orchard to get my retainers. i cant speak properly in them and its quite annoying cause i sound like i've got short tongue, but i dont. i really dont! haha. ok so after dental i met calvin for lunch and it was nice to see him again. we ate at the food section in tangs and then we got onto the train home. then he took his laptop out and we watched dvds and played inkball in the train. and he changed alot really like he used to hide my schoolbag in mcdonalds and refuse to return it to me but now he's more gentlemanly. like he made sure that i entered the train before him,entered the lift before him,and walked me home which was nice.

okay so i'm gonna end here and post a few photos up there which were long overdue cause of my stupidity i didnt even know how to post pictures until like now so yeah. take a look :)

out of school

2008-04-09T12:18:00.002+08:00

i didnt go to school today, got referred to some psychiatrist by my doctor which is really stupid cause i have to go for counselling on a weekly basis. i'm not mad or like some crazy wacko who slashes her wrists.i'm just a sad person. not everyone who goes to IMH is mad. i'm so sick of people telling me, "take it easy,don't be such a perfectionist,you're only fifteen." casue thats bullshit, how exactly do you take things easy? is there a formula,or something that you have to do to change your attitude and stop taking things so hard? cause if there's one,i'd like to know it. people say,take it easy,lighten up, but you know what? everyone who's told that to me couldn't tell me exatly how to go about doing that.

i'm sick of not having anyone who understands how i feel,i'm sick of being sick of how everytime i scroll through my contacts list,i don't see a single name in there-out of that 223 contacts that i have-that i want to pour out my feelings to,i'm sick of pretending like i'm fine,i'm sick of holding back my tears not daring to cry even when i'm alone,and even when i do cry,i'm sick of chatising myself for crying.because crying is a waste of time and it does no one good.i'm sick of having to put on a false front i want to let it go,let it all out,but no one's there to hear me,no one's there to empathise,cause eveyone's so caught up with their own lives and i hate to cry in front of people and pour out my whole sob story.

i want empathy,not sympathy.

2008-02-18T10:43:00.002+08:00

i feel so ashamed to say that i've been neglecting everyone in my life except for my family cause i've been so incredibly busy you wouldn't even believe it,and i am so,so sorry to people like my dear priscilla and vanessa. i know i haven't been talking to you guys for such a long period of time and i haven't called to talk/returned your calls and i am so sorry! :( i have like nine tests this week, oh lord,please help me get through this, and i promise you that when the workload finally subsides i will call to talk and catch up. but a small part of me is wondering whether it will ever end.

on a happier note,i'm staying home today cause i'm not feeling well and i get to miss chinese and e math test.which has both positive and negative sides to it,if you really think about it.

i just read allison's blog and it is absolutely hilarious,that part about the peristalsis in the oesophagus helping to push the food balls down and gravity helps too. HAHAHA. anyway.

i think i sound so pathetic saying this,but its true, i'm not making things up, ever since this year started i haven't had lunch with my friends except that one time on friday with abi and nicholas in ikea. i don't think this year is any fun. but maybe its because its up to me to make my life fun,instead of life being fun for me.

uhm.do i make sense here? i mean, i just haven't laughed, like really laughed at all the whole year.

OH ITS CONFIRMED

2008-01-22T16:30:00.000+08:00

ohhh its confirmed.new eye candy. today was so fun we had this debate-like discussion in class. men VS women. on gender stereotypes. and i was the scribe. so we had like ten minutes to write words describing the opposite gender.the girls wrote things like egoistic,commitment phobics and a whole lot more.so then the guys wrote materialistic,cry babies,act cute,and then some guy wrote this,"don't diss the girls so much,we're going to marry them anyway." HAHAHA and then ian wrote lousy drivers and then chaos broke out cause that is so not true. then mrs quah said that she was utterly disappointed with the guys.before the guys started writing stuff on the board mrs quah hoped that they would not write a single thing.cause women look for gentlemen. not guys who insult the opposite gender with the words,bitch and bimbos. oh,hell,are they gonna stay single for the rest of their lives,or what. here's a tip to the guys reading. be a gentleman. (:

here's a piece that we recieved in class.

It's high time that men ceased to regard women as second class citizens.

This is supposed to be an enlightened age,but you wouldn't think so if you heard what the average man thinks of the average woman.Women won their independence years ago.After a long,bitter struggle,they now enjoy the same educational opportunities as men in most parts of the world.They have proved repeatedly that they are equal and often superior to men in almost every field.The hard-fought battlefor recognition has been won,but it is by no means over.It is men,not women who still carry on the sex war because their attitude remains basically hostile.Even in the most progressive society,women continue to be regarded as second class citizens.To hear some men talk,you'd think that women belonged to a different species.

On the surface,the comments made by men about women's abilities seem light-hearted. The same tired jokes about women drivers are repeated day in,day out. This apparent light-heartedness does not conceal the real contempt that men feel for women.However,much men sneer at women,their claims to superiority are not borne out of statistics.Let's consider the matter of driving,for instance.We all know that women cause far fewer accidents than men.They are too conscientious and responsible to drive like maniacs.But this is a minor quibble.Women have succeeded in any job you care to name.As politicians,soldiers,doctors,factory-hands,university professors,farmers,company directors,lawyers,bus-conductors,scientists and presidents of countries,they have often put men to shame. And we must remember that they frequently succeed brilliantly in all these fields,in addition to bearing and rearing children.Yet men go on maintaining the fiction that there are many jobs women can't do. Top level political negotiations between countries,business,and banking re almost entirely controlled by men,who jealously guard their so-called "rights". Even in otherwise enlightened places like Switzerland,women haven't even been given the vote.This situation is preposterous.The arguments that men put forward to excuse women from all these fields are all too familiar.Women.they say,are unreliable and irrational.They depend too little on cool reasoning and too much on intuition and instinct to arrive at decisions.They are not even capable of thinking clearly. Yet when women prove their abilities,men refuse to acknowledge them and give them their due.So much for a man's ability to think clearly!

The truth is that men cling to their supremacy because of their basic inferiority complex.They shun rela competition.They know in their hearts that women are superior and they are afraid of being beaten at their own game.One of the most important tasks in the world is to achieve world peace between the nations.You can be sure that if women were allowed to sit round the conference table they would succeed brilliantly,as they always do,where men have failed for centuries.Some things are too important to be left to men!

L G Alexander, For and Against

wake up,and see that i've been waiting for you.

welcome to sec three life

2008-01-17T19:23:00.000+08:00

hi everyone,sorry for not keeping this blog alive,but thats cause' i barely even found time to rest,let alone blog.anyway.

okay so this week has been rough with piles of homework and everytime we moan about the number of homework we're recieved,the teachers say the same thing.

welcome to sec three life.

pffft. i don't want any of this "sec three" life.
sure,my class is fun,but i feel so pressured right now i could hurl my alarm clock at the wall.

okay so xiyun is gone,to australia,i think its brisbane,but she was crying the day before she left.it just makes me wonder how i would feel if i were to up and leave just like that and if anyone would miss me or even think about me.
well. a better life awaits in canada,i suppose. and then i wondered who would actually send me off to the airport.and cry when i left.

oh god this is getting emotional.haha. anyway.on a happier note,i'll be visiting toronto in june to check out the place and see if i can get into a school there and see if i can actually live there.adapt to life's changes. :)

i have found a new eye candy,and possibly-thats a veryyyy small possibility- that i may have a crush on him.

oh no what happened to my dont believe in love anymore shit?

HELLO, ITS A BRIGHT NEW DAY

2008-01-10T13:31:00.000+08:00

hello everyone! i didn't go to school today so my nice and very kind mommy allowed me to stay at home to rest and sleep.here's a little update about my week, there was a few embarrassing situations when i wished that the ground will just open up and swallow me whole so that i wouldn't have to face everyone but other than that its been fine. (: yesterday it was so fun during history,cause we studied governance and how to differentiate good governments and lousy governments.then we learnt about the opposition parties and SDP.then we learnt about people like chiam see tong,ling howe doong,whatshisname,JBJ,chee soon juan and other men.it was funny cause some of them did really silly things like going on hunger strikes and yelling DONT TALK COCK in parliament. haha.but i also found it pretty propaganda and all. anyway.i slept in chem class cause it was too damn boring but during literature we had a debate and role play! :D the book we were doing for lit had vulgarities so my lit teacher changed the f word to "cluck" and it was hilarious when timothy acted it out as Christopher with mrs quah as the furious Mrs Shears,and yi hern as the Narrator.
then mrs quah shouted,"what the cluck have you done to my dog??"
"put the clucking dog down right now!"

HAHAHAHA.
i think she is so cute.

and then we had homework. gahh.

girlfriend

2008-01-07T16:07:00.000+08:00

ahh,i love you priscilla! :D
thank you for cheering me up :)